Below is a letter that I have sent to my family & bridesmaids, and Robert's sent a similar one to his. The past several months we've had much heart-ache regarding our upcoming marriage and if we proceed without the annulment. After MANY efforts and even positive feedback from the church, we have elected to move the wedding date to April 17, 2010. It's a hugh relief off our shoulders and we will now not ever have any regrets for NOT waiting and NOT getting married in the Church. It's what we've both wanted. We've had much postitive feedback and expect the 1st letter regarding Robert's annulment in October and the final approval letter in December (but realistically January). Praise be to God when it comes through!!!!
Please read below if you like.
I know you all are aware that Robert and I have been waiting patiently to hear word of his annulment from the Catholic Church for a year and a half now. We took a chance and selected October 17th, 2009 as the day we wanted to get married knowing there was a potential the annulment wouldn’t come through in time. And it hasn’t!
We have consulted with Priests, Deacons, Moms and Dads, Grandparents and the like… even writing letters to the Tribunal (who oversees the annulment process) and the Cardinal himself here in Houston. The words of advice have been positive and we can’t thank everyone we consulted enough for those encouraging words and humbling advice.
As it was put to us by someone we consulted with, “the decisions you make today could have a lasting effect on your relationship as a married couple for a lifetime to come.” This is true, and because of this we understand that we love each other today, as we did 3 years ago, as we will 6 months from now, and as we want to 50 years from now. Knowing this, we've made our decision with thoroughness, thoughtfulness, and considerations, not just for today, but for what effects this could have on the rest of our lives.
We have finally come to the VERY difficult decision that, in order to keep our sanity, reduce the amount of impact to the least number of people, and more importantly to have the wedding we want as Catholics, we have decided to postpone the wedding until April 17th, 2010.
Robert and I have talked and weighed our options and even considered a wedding outside the Church, but our concerns were what regrets we'd have down the road. What example does this set for his sons? What would we tell our children some day? We love each other very much and our greatest desire is to be married, but my dream has always been to walk down the aisle of my church in Shiner. Would I regret not waiting for that? Would I regret it on my wedding day? 1 year from then? 5 years? 50 years? A 6-month delay is a drop in the bucket in the span of our lives together.
It's important to us because the Church and our faith is important to us.
The past several months have been very hard. Wedding planning had all the fun sucked out of it. We were on hold with so many things because we were living in the "what-if". I cannot even tell you how many tears were shed over this. My heart has never weighed so heavy. Monday, last night and even today, I can feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe this doesn't make sense but to those of you who have stood by me in all this and given your words of encouragement, you knew the stress and heart-wrenching times we'd gone through. All I can ask is for your understanding and your compassion now, in this decision.
As for the come and go shower this weekend, the bachelorette/bachelor and subsequent shower, they stay the same! The Bachelorette/Bachelor will remain in September and I have another shower shortly thereafter. By mid-October my wedding stuff will be done and I sit and wait for the big day! Thank goodness!!!! :)
You all are a big part of this day (YES!! YOU -- all of our guests - friends & family), so we pray for your continued love and support of our decision.
Jamie (and of course, Robert too!)